Basic Sonnet 11 | The roots are growing downwards

  1. The roots are growing downwards, slowly.
  2. The water’s drawing upwards, daily.
  3. Its meniscus sags, clinging to the glass, obstinately.
  4. Diminished. concave little meniscus.
  5. I still take baths, but the water line’s at 10 cm, strictly .
  6. That’s five buckets or so.
  7. Straight onto the garden afterwards, chucked onto that basin of petunias.
  8. Water’s cloudy from the soap & shampoo,
  9. Skin grease, eyelashes, traces of sun-lotion, hairfall.
  10. But the flower’s still bloom,
  11. Languorous tea rose, clambering bougainvillea,
  12. A couple of smug succulents.
  13. They’re drinking up my bath to bloom.
  14. I guess grey-water’s better than not blooming at all.


Basic Sonnet 10 | the Anthropocene

  1. How do you solve all of humanity’s most impossible predicaments?
  2. Hold a formal debating competition between Tracy Flick and Cher Horowitz and let them fight it out.
  3. Are some books still considered too dangerous to read?
  4. If no one reads books anymore, I guess no book is truly dangerous.
  5. Not even Mein Kampf.
  6. Or FSOG.
  7. Why are we still using fossil fuels?
  8. Because right now polar bears are using ice caps as wobble-boards.
  9. Why are honey bees so important?
  10. Because almost everything you eat came about because of pollinating bees.
  11. Why are they dying out?
  12. Because monoculture, pesticides, the Anthropocene.
  13. The gyre is widening,
  14. Making way for the obscene.







Basic Sonnet 9 | No Known Crown

  1. My mind is filled with long-term knots.
  2. The masseuse would never know that
  3. I settled myself in fern prairies,
  4. Until old trees fell to change the canopy.
  5. The light got in.
  6. It made dormant things grow.
  7. I was King for a Day once, and that’s all I wanted.
  8. But now they’ve gone and elected a lord of misrule,
  9. A harlequin prince, a Bean-King
  10. An Abbot of Unreason, set in a burlesque of democracy;
  11. The most uncanny of natural disturbances.
  12. An alien invasive with no known predator
  13. Always thirsty, deep roots searching, sucking;
  14. And no known crown.




Basic Sonnet 8 | I have worked…

This Basic Sonnet is inspired by the list made by painter Agnes Martin, whose own menial, often oddball jobs provided her with the boredom she needed to be creative.

I have worked:

  1. As a salesgirl at a crystals shop in a bird park.
  2. As a waitress just once.
  3. As a volunteer dog-walker.
  4. In a cat hospital, at an animal shelter.
  5. Teaching someone the International Phonetic Alphabet.
  6. As an au pair.
  7. As a freelance writer for a prepper website.
  8. As a volunteer facilitator for special needs kids.
  9. As an on-and-off writer for a travel company.
  10. In a witch’s costume, promoting a Disney Channel movie.
  11. As kidtrepreneur, selling shitty microwaved candles to my neighbours.
  12. As a gift wrapper in a children’s toy shop.
  13. As a user experience designer.
  14. As an intern at the national museum, putting labels on ancient taxidermied animals.

BASIC SONNET 6 | There’s still fire

  1. Sorry not sorry.
  2. Everybody knows.
  3. I see fire.
  4. Please, someone call their eatery Ampersand&Ampersand
  6. How are people still posting about yoga at a time like this.
  7. What else are people supposed to post, then?
  8. There is no single grand narrative. Only expensive and cheap ones.
  9. There’s still fire
  10. Can someone please put that out
  11. I mean it
  12. ….
  13. …..

Basic Sonnet 5 | Something burning (not the gammon)

I remember, in December 1996,
Christmas lights were killer that year!
They overloaded the circuit,
Blew the fuse with high-wattage cheer.
They don’t make ’em like that anymore.
Nowadays it’s those cool, efficient ones that don’t emit heat.
Perfect holiday fire insurance.

Seriously, hazardous things (as pretty as they were),
Lights shivering as if it were winter
Short-circuiting oven before we got the lamb in,
Something burning (not the gammon).
Why – I ask annually –
did we make the entire household trip,
for the sake of something pretty?

Basic Sonnet 4 | The events in a single literary day

  1. Lotus-eaters on Instagram.
  2. Ampersands in restaurants on and around Bree.
  3. Indicators at traffic circles.
  4. The events in a single literary day.
  5. The nostalgia of Christmas beetles.
  6. A touch of Google Translate between friends.
  7. A lock of hair affixed.
  8. Cheap wine & chopsticks
  9. Too much feeling all around.
  10. The scramble to reach higher ground.
  11. A sleeping totem above my head.
  12. Imitators under my bed.
  13. Speaking a far more dangerous dialect.
  14. Say with your mouth what is in your heart.

Basic Sonnet 3 | The Weight of Newton’s Gravity.

  1. The logic of doors and locks.
  2. The mindfuckery of keys.
  3. The vainglory of birds.
  4. The sweetness of basil.
  5. The tartness of acetone.
  6. The weight of Newton’s gravity.
  7. The contrivance of Panic! at the Disco.
  8. The consistency of Microsoft Tech Support phone scams.
  9. The flat tummies of ectomorphs.
  10. The vagrancy of socks.
  11. The stickiness of books.
  12. The importance of your thyroid.
  13. The Nobel Prize of Bob Dylan.
  14. The haemorrhage of Donald Trump.



  1. ‘In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.’ And a crop of many one-eyed agents does not make for two-eyed kings.
  2. The making and staging of victimhood.
  3. I always knew Brangelina was a farce! I was never once taken in by their impossible beauty, humanitarianism and multiracial brood!
  4. Places that sell mature, expensive cheese wheels seem kinda boring inside.
  5. Can I feed that Woodstock sourdough to the ducks, please?
  6. My leather ballet slippers molded to my feet after I washed them. They were so intimate with me.
  7.  I am an amateur at pretty much everything.
  8. Hydroponics is another thing I’m amateur at. Since most people make things in jars a lot these days, like beer, and, well, beer, I decided to grow something that was not so yeasty.
  9. When you Google hydroponics, it becomes pretty clear that you can also grow your weed in there.
  10. I was talking about basil, by the way.
  11. Equivocation, doublespeak, triplespeak, circumspeak. Go on! distort the truth like a pretzel.
  12. Like some Illuminati mess.
  13. And that low, low sarcasm.
  14. Deep breath before the plunge.